In the course of my day to day life I interact with a lot of moms. Some stay at home moms, some working moms, and some work from home moms. One thing I find all of us have in common is guilt and inadequacies. We are all feeling guilty or inadequate about our choices. If we choose to stay home, we feel inadequate because we're not "professional" or making money. If we choose to work we feel guilty or inadequate because we're not home with our kids. I mean, most people are happy with their choices, whether that be to work or stay home, but there is always this little nagging sense of inadequacy creeping below the surface. We look at each other and think "They've got it all together, if I only I could be like them".
I want to say this to all my mommy and future mommy friends out there: This is satan's biggest lie! He is a liar and the only language he speaks is lies and this is one that he has used to ruin many women. Nobody has it all together. Everyone you are looking at thinking they have it all together, doesn't.
I feel strongly that each family must make choices that work for them. There are certain things that I feel are sin and are not up for discussion. However, whether or not you work, stay home, or work from home, is not a sin issue. It is a personal family decision and one I hope is made with great thought and care. I don't think working or staying at home makes one a better or worse mom, just a different mom and that's ok.
I have had many conversations with women who are struggling with their choices or the pressures from the outside world to make different choices and it just breaks my heart. I am sad that satan is using one of the greatest joys of life, motherhood, to shame and guilt women. The reality is, those we feel are judging us and out mothering choices, are quite possibly struggling with the exact same issue, feeling inadequate.
So the next time you sense those feelings of inadequacy and guilt creeping up know that they do not come from God. Satan's only job is to ruin you and that is one way he is working. Speak truth to those lies and tell them to flee. "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus, to do good works which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10
You mama, are God's workmanship, go and do good.!
Well said! I am a SAHM looking for a teaching job after being home with my babies the last 7 years. And I'm not having much luck finding a job in our area, so I'm looking for office work too. I feel a lot of guilt about wanting to go back to work, but ultimately it's going to be what is best for our family.
ReplyDeleteEven when I was home, I struggled with feeling guilty for not using my degree when we have so many student loans! You are right that those feelings are not from God! I'm homeschooling right now, so there is a lot of guilt (not intentional) from the HS groups because they are so convicted in their choices that it is the best and most biblical choice to be at home. It's hard for me to find God's voice in all of the noise. (see my blog post for more on that)
Great post! BTW, I found your blog through GCM. I'm BornFreeBaby. :)